12 Jewish Haiku

In the Beginning

In the beginning,
no one wore any clothing.
Then there was Loehmann's!

Today I am a man.
Tomorrow I return to
the seventh grade.

My Nature Journal:
Today I saw trees and birds.
I should know their names?

After the warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet!?

Today mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow so hot you'll plotz.
Five day forecast: Feh!

Coroner's report:
The deceased, wearing no hat,
caught his death of cold.

Left the door open
for the prophet Elijah.
Now our cat is gone.

Lonely mantra for
Jewish mother: They never
call, they never write!

No fins, nor flippers,
the gefillte fish swims with
some difficulty.

Forty years in the
desert, led by men. Wouldn't
ask for directions.

The Score
Quietly murmured
at Yom Kippur services:
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

After All
Is one Nobel prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?

Click here to watch performance by Charles Osborne & Helene Williams,
accompanied by the composer, videotaped by Jessica Lehrman,
at The Village Temple on Jan. 23, 2011.